<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>through thick and thin and in between by reciprobursts</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22484470">through thick and thin and in between</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/reciprobursts/pseuds/reciprobursts'>reciprobursts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dimension 20 (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Panic Attacks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:59:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22484470</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/reciprobursts/pseuds/reciprobursts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>kristen isn't taking kalina's threat too well.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kristen Applebees/Tracker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>through thick and thin and in between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>my heart is trackerbees shaped and i'm so incredibly fond of them :(( the latest episode was. a lot for kristen and i needed to pump this out</p><p>title from home by miki ratsula ;;;</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kristen awakens with a start, and immediately feels something wrong. Her lungs aren't working properly, she realizes, as her tense body shakes with effort to breathe, throat closing up like a one-way valve where the only direction is outwards. Her limbs feel so stiff and heavy it physically hurts and and she can't tell if the forming wetness on her face is sweat or tears. </p><p> </p><p>It’s dark and it’s hard to think when her mind is so addled and oxygen deprived, but Kristen vaguely registers that she’s in a bed, seemingly alone, and is struck by terror. Every beat of her heart painfully smashes in her chest, threatening to burst through her skin.</p><p> </p><p>She's wheezing and choking and she's going to die- and <em> fuck, </em> she suddenly remembers why she's feels so panicked.</p><p> </p><p>Tracker, Tracker, <em> Tracker </em> . Kristen's fingers grip weakly at the sheets but she can't move her arm to feel if her girlfriend is still there with her. It fills her with absolute despair. Did she lose her? Is she gone? Is she fucking dead because of what Kristen has done? Nothing feels right and it hurts and she needs to heal, where is her healer, her haven, <em>her Tracker</em>.</p><p> </p><p>A sob erupts from her throat, but she doesn't know if it actually made a sound because the crash of blood rushing in her ears blocks everything else out. Her vision is going fuzzy and her heart is reaching, screaming for Tracker and-</p><p> </p><p>There's a hand on her shoulder and the faintest echo of a familiar voice breaks through the storm. A brightness appears and a dark haired, human shape comes into view and Kristen starts to gasp in air when her muddled brain realizes who it is. A warm palm rests on her abdomen, and she musters the energy to actually take deep breaths (just like Adaine said, just like Adaine taught everyone), feeling the motion of her core rising and falling, slowly lapsing into regular intervals.</p><p> </p><p>"Tracker," She whispers when she’s able to find her voice, exhausted. Her pulse continues to slam against her rib cage, but it's a dull thud rather than the piercing staccato of earlier.</p><p> </p><p>"Babe," Tracker murmurs, so achingly soft. "Come back to me Kristen, I've got you."</p><p> </p><p>Kristen notices that’s she's fully crying now, and fumbles to pull her girlfriend closer, fingers feeling unfamiliar and feeble, unable to bend past the second knuckle. It takes so much energy to move and her body begs her to slow down even when she’s doing nothing at all. Tracker obliges to Kristen’s tug at her arms easily, laying herself down right on top of her and quietly repeating comforting phrases into the younger girl's neck. "I'm here, babe, I'm okay. You're okay. We're good, baby. We're gonna be just fine."</p><p> </p><p>“I thought I lost you,” Kristen babbles, shaking her head wildly even though an ache pushes against her temples. “I can’t- I can’t let that happen, I won’t be able t-to-  I can’t, I <em> can’t </em>-”</p><p> </p><p>Tracker shushes her, smoothing down her hair even when Kristen knows it’s gross and damp with sweat. “You’re not gonna lose me, I’m right here.”</p><p> </p><p>And Kristen sobs, wails in distress as Tracker pulls away for a moment to cup her cheeks, using her thumbs to swipe away Kristen’s tears. “Look at me, babe. Focus on my face.”</p><p> </p><p>The redhead does, concentrating on Tracker’s face, which is so full of love and concern that Kristen almost has trouble breathing again for a completely different reason. She hasn’t blinked in what feels like an eternity because if she closes her eyes again, everything might be taken away, and she’s a little thankful for her watery disposition. Tracker lets go to take Kristen’s wrists and place her hands on her own face, allowing Kristen to touch and feel her, that she’s tangible, that she’s real, that she’s here. </p><p> </p><p>Kristen still can’t really feel her fingertips but the warmth of her skin in contact with Tracker’s is enough to ground her, even just a little bit. Inhaling sharply, she finally blinks. Tracker is still there. Kristen’s hands shake.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Kristen says, but she’s unsure of what she's apologizing for.</p><p> </p><p>Tracker turns her head to kiss the center of Kristen’s palm. “None of that.” She closes the space between them to touch their foreheads together. </p><p> </p><p>“What happened was scary, I’m sure of that. I know I won’t fully understand, so I won’t say I get it.” She covers Kristen’s hands on her face with her own, and bumps their noses. “But I’m here, and I’m staying, and I won’t go unless you want me to.”</p><p> </p><p>“...Promise?” And the crack in Kristen’s voice matches the one that’s penetrated her soul, ever since the threat from Kalina rang in her ears. It’s a dark, scary reverberation that makes her want to curl around Tracker like the shields she raises with her magic, even though their current position is the exact opposite.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise.” Tracker confirms, nuzzling at Kristen’s jaw and pressing a soft kiss on her shoulder. “You’re stuck with me,” She adds on cheekily.</p><p> </p><p>That pulls a laugh- shaky- but a laugh out of Kristen and Tracker peppers light kisses all over her face. “There’s my girl.”</p><p> </p><p>Kristen slowly wraps her arms around Tracker, despite how tiring it feels, and she holds her girlfriend like if her embrace was any looser, she would slip away. The lycan snuggles warmly into her and they stay like that for a while.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you,” Kristen says, words heavy on her tongue as the anxiety of this being the last time she’ll ever say it crawls up her throat. “Don’t forget it.” A plea.</p><p> </p><p>Tracker lifts a hand to pat Kristen’s cheek affectionately. “I love you too. I won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>The vow is what Kristen falls asleep to, and she keeps it close to her heart. A place that only Tracker has access to, where no amount of darkness or evil or shadow can reach. This is her home. She hopes she won’t lose it.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>